The Etiquette of Texting: How Long Is Too Long to Reply?

How long is too long to wait before replying to a text? Well, if you’re one of my grown kids, just about no amount of time is too much! Seriously, I’ve waited so long that I thought they’d sent me a telegram by mistake.

Unless it’s something urgent, Mary Lynn and I answer when we’ve got the time. Some people’s messages turn into hour-long texting sessions, and honey, you don’t have to dive into those right away. Just like you don’t have to answer the phone when you know it’s a friend or family member who tends to take up all your time. You know the type—the ones who’ll talk the ears right off a cornstalk.

Now, if you text first, the polite thing is to keep your phone handy for their reply. Don’t be that person who sends a text and then disappears like a possum in daylight.

What if they keep you on hold before they reply? If you need an answer now, give them a call. Don’t hold it against them, though, when you also take your sweet time replying. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, after all.

But let’s not forget, all of this goes straight out the window when an immediate reply truly is needed. You don’t want to leave a friend hanging when they ask what time you’re picking them up. And keeping your spouse waiting when they’re at the store, wondering what you want, is just shooting yourself in the foot. Having them personally buy and deliver your groceries is a luxury you do not want to miss out on.

And, if you get a text from an actual delivery driver, answer that sucker lest they leave your chalupas at the neighbors’ door. Trust me, Mrs. Johnson does not need another surprise visit from your late-night snack cravings. 

Now, I don’t care how urgent it is—texting while driving is an absolute no. Plug your phone into CarPlay and let Siri do the talking, or put on that “I’m driving” focus to let folks know you’re otherwise occupied. There’s nothing worth risking a fender bender over, especially not a “Where r u?” text from your bestie.

When It Comes to Kids: Instant Replies Required

Now, when it comes to the little ones, it’s a whole different ball game. If you’re a parent, especially of a tween or teen, you should lay down the law that you expect an instant reply when you text. You need to know they’re safe, where they’re supposed to be, and not off getting into who-knows-what. So, teaching them to reply right away—whether it’s a quick “I’m here” or “On my way”—is just good practice. It’s not about being a helicopter parent; it’s about safety and peace of mind. And let me tell you, once they hit adulthood and their replies slow to a crawl, you’ll be grateful for all those quick responses while you could still get them. So, while they’re under your roof, a quick “Yes, ma’am” text reply is just part of the deal.